The Shrill is Gone! Who’s Got Next in the Demokratik Party?


Written by Luke Hamilton

It is never too early to start planning the completion of a communist coup. We are only midway through Dear Leader’s second term, but the Demokrat primary for the 2016 Presidential election is beginning to take shape. It almost seems as if the party has already abdicated this year’s mid-term election and is instead marshalling forces for the next major election season. It wouldn’t be the worst strategy, given the fact that the prognosis is dire for Demokrats this year. Even Chris Mathews has lost the thrill up his leg, predicting on his show this week that the Republicans will take back the Senate.

At one point, it seemed virtually predetermined that Shrillary would be the 2016 Demokratik Presidential candidate. So it’s surprising that recently she has looked more ready for a knockout than the Oval Office. It’s hard to tell with her pantsuits, but those legs look rubbery and her corner has got to be concerned. Her political blunders over the past several weeks seem to confirm the fact that the political acumen in that family resides exclusively in Bubba. For someone with such extensive experience with the limelight and televised interviews, it is hard to believe that she misspoke so badly by claiming poverty after Bill left office. She has since tried to fall back on relativism and insist that she and Bill aren’t broke but they’re also not like some of those people who are “truly well off”.

Riiiight, because the rest of us have made $100m over the past 20 years.

This struggle to associate herself with the middle class is failing miserably and it is not a fight she can win; much like the one she’s been fighting to distance herself from Benghazi. This Just-Folks populism she’s slathering upon herself reeks of artifice and pandering. She has always appealed to the limousine liberal and the progressive corporatist and she should know better than to think she could shed her skin that easily.

That being said, Shrillary carries a political heft which cannot be ignored. The Clinton machine has a network which verges on legendary and can probably call in favors from cronies around the world. Despite the breathless hagiographies written of her political prowess, Shrillary’s greatest political asset is still Bill, both for his eye-popping paychecks and for his diplomatic wizardry. Even this far removed from office, Bill can still make or break a candidate with his support or his ridicule. I firmly believe that he could’ve taken out Barack if he had been allowed to drop gloves in ’08. Someone must’ve given him the order to ‘stand down’. I suppose it could’ve been his wife, as she seems fond of issuing that order.

But hold the phone! There appears to be a new snout in the pigpen. The whisper campaign is gaining a full head of steam to draft U.S. Senator Elizabeth “Fauxcohontas” Warren into the race for President. According to Edward Klein, the author of Blood Feud: The Clintons vs. The Obamas, the President has tasked Valerie Jarrett with the job of convincing Elizabeth Warren to run in 2016. It is hard to know if Klein’s sources are accurate, but it is logical to think that Obama is involved in this effort. Primarily because Obama is incessantly distracted from doing his actual job by anything and everything.

This project would allow him to avoid geopolitical crises like the Islamification of Iraq, unknown numbers of people (with unknown identities!) pouring over our borders, ongoing attacks faced by our allies Ukraine & Israel, and an American economy more fragile than the sanity of Ed Schultz. Also, it’s logical to think that Obama would be interested in convincing Warren to run for President because playing Kingmaker to the next progressive socialist in the White House would scratch his egomaniacal itch and cement his name as the first of a new generation of Marxist “forefathers” who fundamentally transformed the United States into poverty-stricken irrelevancy.

A Chicago Machine Marxist is an unfortunate accident, a Chicago Machine Marxist followed by an East Coast Socialist Egghead is a contiguous communist coup with long-ranging repercussions.

Senator Warren has made no secret of her ambition to gain a larger slice of Farmer Jones’ pie. She represents a vocal, growing wing of the Demokratik party which is unabashedly socialist. Over the last few months, she has made at least 7 appearances to generate support for struggling Demokratik candidates. During those appearances, her adoring fans have been treated to plenty of her trademark rabble rousing about the evil banks, blame-worthy corporations, and how the system is “rigged” against ordinary Americans. I don’t disagree that the system is rigged to benefit certain people, but I do disagree that the answer is to create more system.

What would a Warren Presidency mean for the country? Like Obama, she’s a hardcore socialist progressive, but there is a subtle difference. Obama seems to feel the need to explain his redistributive policies, almost apologetically at times. Warren is unashamed of her avarice. Her boilerplate stump speech seems to suggest that she would be able to tap into the populist anger which Clinton is so desperately trying to access; anger at the capitalist cronies who have benefitted from the Clinton, Bush, and Obama presidencies. But unlike libertarian Conservatives, who share her anger at crony capitalism, her only solution seems to be the vilification of success and the exponential growth of central authority. In many ways, a Warren presidency would complete the transformation begun on Barack’s watch, which explains why Jarrett is helping measure lawn-space for Elizabeth’s presidential teepee.